I was at Rick’s house one day, Rick Oliver, one of my best friends in high school and beyond. We were playing guitars or something along those lines and we decided it was time to sell some Orange Juice. This was a method we used to get dates with total strangers from around Orange County 
We asked the ages of the children in the family and if we hit on a teenage daughter, we would find out some details. We asked questions about hobbies and activities of each member for our survey (just to see if the girl was the type we liked). If she was then we set it up so the girl was home as well as her Mom. Then we would go over as the survey team and buy a couple quarts of some brand we knew nothing about on the way as the free samples and do our survey. The mothers always saw through this in no time but liked our creativity and let us talk to their daughter since it was in the safety of their home. We met a lot of girls this way. Well, when we started it that day Rick’s Mom had asked us to wait for the TV repairman since she had to go out. That was OK with us since we were just going to be making our inane calls. As we did this and made many calls with varying degrees of success… mostly the bad degrees! The television repairman would rise up partway from behind the television and look at us in the strangest way. He did this now and then and chuckled often as he listened to us. Finally we must have hit him just right and he was outright laughing now at our stupid little plan and he asked, with a huge smile if it ever could possibly have worked. We started laughing and told him don’t go by today but yes it often worked really well. So he said well, you guys must be really good actors. He went back to his work and still listened in and we would look over at him and finally as he finished up he came over to us and said. Listen… you guys seem nice but fun loving and would we be interested in playing a joke or some setup on his teenage niece. We were amazed but we agreed right away… anything fun was ok with us…especially those words…Teenage Niece. So he asked who would be the one to go and we had hoped it to be a two man operation but he said no, it would work much better with just one. So we agreed to that and then I won the coin toss so I got to go. He called his brother and explained what he had in mind who agreed to it right away…we could hear him laughing over the phone so we felt pretty secure. They planned it out that I was a long lost southern hick cousin (And I had to use some goofy accent as well), named Filbert Ebenezer Overalls or something equally lame. I was coming for dinner but that her uncle also had set her up with a blind date with a nice guy her uncle met when he fixed the television for some customers. Her uncle raved on and on about how nice this blind date was going to be and that she should make sure and set aside her time for him. She was excited and agreed to it. Of course we had to wait until the uncle set this up before it was a go, but she did agree and it was set for that coming Saturday night. Her Dad was so much fun in all this and really enjoyed the whole mess. I came over for dinner at 6:00PM and had to pretend to know all these people that I had never seen before although I did talk to her dad on the phone to make sure I wasn’t the one set up here and get directions! As we sat down for dinner her brother and her Dad just fed me these preposterous lines that we were all just making up and we’d get the giggles and mess it up a lot. Things like do you go hunting at home…and I was answer in my best Gomer Pyle voice, sure just last week we had bagged a few skunk and had the greatest dinner. Of course the stench was a bit much but the meat was nice and tender! Candy just sat there looking totally mystified. Candy was a doll, about 5’7” very nice brown hair and hazel eyes. She had a hint of freckles and was very thin. She had the slimmest cutest hips I had ever seen up to that time. She was waiting for that blind date with this guy named Barry (Of course this would be me once we told her) that her Uncle had set up for her and was getting antsy about that. She was trying to be kind to her family and this hick farm boy that showed up for dinner. Her Dad was saying why don’t you forget this date and just go out with your cousin here. He came all the way out from Arkansas 8:00PM and the blind date was due at any time. And heck who wants to go out with a cousin? After a couple hours of all the fun the phone rang right at 8:00PM and her Dad answered in the hallway he came back looking a bit odd and finally said at the table that her date had just called and wasn’t going to be able to make it. She was so disappointed since her Uncle had raved about this guy (ME) who was coming to meet her. Then her Dad said “Oh. By the way, Candy… do you know why your date can’t make it?” She of course had no clue. He said, “Well, he had another engagement. He had to pretend to be someone’s cousin at a dinner and couldn’t make it at eight.” She sat there for a moment taking the news in and then got a perplexed look on her face and she looked around kind of wide eyed and asked with a hint of a growl, “Are you saying that this is
We asked the ages of the children in the family and if we hit on a teenage daughter, we would find out some details. We asked questions about hobbies and activities of each member for our survey (just to see if the girl was the type we liked). If she was then we set it up so the girl was home as well as her Mom. Then we would go over as the survey team and buy a couple quarts of some brand we knew nothing about on the way as the free samples and do our survey. The mothers always saw through this in no time but liked our creativity and let us talk to their daughter since it was in the safety of their home. We met a lot of girls this way. Well, when we started it that day Rick’s Mom had asked us to wait for the TV repairman since she had to go out. That was OK with us since we were just going to be making our inane calls. As we did this and made many calls with varying degrees of success… mostly the bad degrees! The television repairman would rise up partway from behind the television and look at us in the strangest way. He did this now and then and chuckled often as he listened to us. Finally we must have hit him just right and he was outright laughing now at our stupid little plan and he asked, with a huge smile if it ever could possibly have worked. We started laughing and told him don’t go by today but yes it often worked really well. So he said well, you guys must be really good actors. He went back to his work and still listened in and we would look over at him and finally as he finished up he came over to us and said. Listen… you guys seem nice but fun loving and would we be interested in playing a joke or some setup on his teenage niece. We were amazed but we agreed right away… anything fun was ok with us…especially those words…Teenage Niece. So he asked who would be the one to go and we had hoped it to be a two man operation but he said no, it would work much better with just one. So we agreed to that and then I won the coin toss so I got to go. He called his brother and explained what he had in mind who agreed to it right away…we could hear him laughing over the phone so we felt pretty secure. They planned it out that I was a long lost southern hick cousin (And I had to use some goofy accent as well), named Filbert Ebenezer Overalls or something equally lame. I was coming for dinner but that her uncle also had set her up with a blind date with a nice guy her uncle met when he fixed the television for some customers. Her uncle raved on and on about how nice this blind date was going to be and that she should make sure and set aside her time for him. She was excited and agreed to it. Of course we had to wait until the uncle set this up before it was a go, but she did agree and it was set for that coming Saturday night. Her Dad was so much fun in all this and really enjoyed the whole mess. I came over for dinner at
really Barry?” and pointed to me. Then her Dad and brother just lost
it and were laughing so hard I had to explain the whole thing to her. Once she got over the humiliation she was very nice about it though. We went out and had a really good time and found we had a lot in common and we did date for a while and I was very attracted to her. But, and this is a major but, then I went to a party with her in CdM and it was just people she knew but mostly very attractive girls, so she asked if I could bring a friend or two. I said sure why not. I asked Rick and Dick. It is very lucky (?) for Dick that I did, since he met his future wife that night. Lucky or not she was Karen and the same age as Candy. I was basically left alone to fend for myself. She was off enjoying herself and I felt like a bump on the log. I didn’t know that this is the way it is done at her school, but I felt abandoned. I did meet a girl named Cathy that night. I was sitting on the couch and a group of very nice girls were playing Twister in front of me. This one cute blonde creature split the rear seam of her black stretch pants and let the world in on her nice little white lace panties. She sat down next to me once that happened to cover up and as we made small talk she tugged and worked down her sweater to cover her rip zone. She was very nice all during out talk and told me to give her a call. I asked who she was and she gave her name as Cathy Ebsen. The last name never rang a bell until I met her at her house and met her dad, Buddy but I did call Cathy the next day to get her address and set up what to do. We had a nice long talk and arranged for me to come to her house to meet for burgers and a walk along the beach. I guess there is a screaming fast hot line at that high school because later that same night Candy called me at home asked if I called Cathy and told me to drop dead but in a nice way after getting my affirmative answer. I guess I misread that girl all together.
Candy at her 20 year reunion...better than ever!
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